IT’S NOT OK

What would you do if you woke up to find your bank balance at zero after your account had been illegally accessed and siphoned? First stop – freak out! As many of you may have been following on FaceBook and Twitter last week I encountered what many of us dread – being ripped off firstly by the hands of a criminal and secondly by the ir-response-ability of the bank.

Unfortunately I had left my Access card (not credit card) in an ATM in Bali. I own that if i had been more mindful none of this would have happened but it was a simple and common mistake. The very next day I had already flown out of Bali and arrived in Darwin when I discovered the card missing. I immediately rang the ANZ bank to report it and request my card be stopped and another sent to me. Neither of those procedures occurred. Instead, two weeks later in Sydney (the criminal seemed to be following me) a substantial amount of money was withdrawn from my account after my PIN was somehow reset. Ever heard of skimming? Neither had I. I have learnt a lot throughout this fiasco, not least the power of technology.

Now most banks in situations like this, so I am told, are pretty quick to action whatever they need to return stolen money to their customers and investigate the fraud independently…. not the ANZ. I was told it was a 3-6 week investigation period for it to be proved that this indeed was fraud. The Government Ombudsman (which turned out to be a privately owned company that offers membership to the banks) offered a 3-6 month resolution period which would not even begin until the banks had a chance to resolve it first. So in other words, what the banks and the government were effectively saying was you may or may not get your money back once WE the power holders discover that YOU the pleb are not the thief in question. Nice customer service ANZ… only been banking with you for 20 years or more, and paying you all the fees, interest and associated costs required for doing business with a financial service such as your megalomaniacal corporate self. And as for the government, well we all know their ethics are questionable across the planetary board. As a small business operator this has been very disruptive not to mention personally very stressful and a consumption of time and energy. When i pointed out to the senior ANZ case manager on about the 10th phone call that if they just listened to the recording of me requesting the card be stopped, which I had been told only takes 24-48 hours, they would have proof that I am not the thief. The case manager replied, “not at all, it would be quite easy for me to call and cancel a card, not have it stopped and then go shopping for the day.” Yes it would be if you were in the system wouldn’t it. The lack of empathy and derision set my Warrior arrows on fire.

When I was in Bali I experienced a life-changing process where i identified and contacted my anger as a powerful exercise in developing will power and self expression. Interesting experience in a place full of such blissful peace and beauty. For a long time i had perceived anger as “bad”, unproductive, a mistake, something to be ashamed of and taken back and generally of very little value. I was wrong. When I began to understand anger as simply and complexly one kind of energy in motion (e-motion) just like all the others I realised how blocked my will power was in this life for suppressing it and not expressing it. Do we suppress the emotions of love, joy and excitement? Not in my experience… so why do we suppress anger? Because those in power tell us it’s bad… unless its associated with land, religion and weapons ~ that’s another story. So I thought it was quite interesting that I seemed to have manifested this situation where I had to express anger and verbally stand up for myself to one of the biggest corporations in the country simply to say “it’s not OK” at a time when I had been consciously focusing on developing an ability to fire up action in all areas of life that needed attention.

This experience was laced with lessons on so many levels. Throughout the week I found myself resisting my yoga practice – A/ because I didn’t have the cash for classes and B/ because my mind was just so busy with the worry (and expression of it) that I couldn’t imagine the possibility of surrendering to the calm, peaceful void that is practice. It was a fight or flight situation. I was fighting. Eventually, amidst it all, I could resist no longer and reached a point that I had been longing to return to since coming home from Bali – personal practice at home… releasing reliance on a teacher or a class to provide the self care that I need and know how to deliver. I swept the floor, turned on the heater, amped Shiva chants and rolled out my mat. It was early morning and my body did not bend as it does in the afternoon in the warm cocoon of my favourite yoga studios. First lesson – accepting limitation given the circumstances and challenges of the moment. I’ve been practicing Ashtanga lately which has been a really rewarding yet somewhat regimented style infused with a drive to progress and achieve. It’s a linear sequence which doesn’t allow much room to explore which makes my holographic approach to life feel mildly uncomfortable. Second lesson – back off, release expectation and choose what’s right in the moment for the moment by the moment. So I practiced Primary Sequence adding, editing and deleting along the way… it became my practice with a gentleness that I don’t often give myself in most areas of life. Lesson three – Choice. When I lay in Shivasana to rest feeling a thousand times lighter and calmer the biggest lesson hit me in the heart where the only response was tears. I realised how just how attached I was to it all along with most other people on this planet – life, thoughts, practice, money. I felt the cosmic joke and saw how I had let myself be sucked in yet again to all the stuff in this world that ultimately doesn’t matter. Sure we need money but was I hungry or homeless? It occurred to me that i should check in with each of my chakras on what this situation could offer to me in approaching it in a different way. It was about survival (base); meeting needs and moving e-motion (second); creating direct action (third); keeping my heart open (fourth); expressing rights (fifth); visioning the outcome and cause (sixth); connecting with Source and staying anchored into soul and spirit in the present feeling unaffected by material comings and goings (seven). The body has it’s own kind of intelligence which has a language all of its own. And then I got up and got in with it.

There had to be a way to speed up this process, to reclaim my rights and to resolve the issue. I turned to my community both on and offline and was gifted wonderfully cunning and strategic advice from a good friend who suggested I initiate a social media campaign on Twitter. No one likes bad press! They can be as bureaucratic, unhelpful and patronising as they like in the hidden world of anonymous call centres but nothing can be kept secret within the global open source centre of social media. A tweet may seem like a waste of time to many of us but at the end of the day, as this experience illustrates, it is a powerful and effective way to exercise direct democratic rights in a world overtaken by faceless and culturally domineering corporations. Within hours of tweeting about the serious and appalling service of the bank the ANZ social media team were on the phone calling me asking what they could possibly do to resolve this situation quickly. Nice one ANZ. The situation was resolved within 3-6 days including compensation as way of apology for what I had experienced. All hail Twitter!

Apart from discovering that at the end of the day what i was fighting for was more my rights than my money and that what pained me the most was my attachment to the material rather than the actual loss  itself I realised that as a collective, people have more access to power and connection with each other than ever before with the incredible technology available to us and the consciousness that permeates it. The momentary inconvenience was worth it to make this discovery. And at the end of the day, if we all woke up with a collective zero bank balance what would we do? It is possible. Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Would our lives become more meaningful? Would we relate more effectively and live more creatively? Would we listen to each other more actively and support needs being met? How would we spend our time? What possibilities would open up to us as a collective sharing this common experience of coming back to the essential self beyond the material instead of living in fear and denial that this is what drives our daily lives? A Utopic vision yes! … Holding that vision in this afternoon’s practice. I believe in our collective future beyond the illusion of the material plane.

Cooperation NOT Competition

I’ve been wanting to write this blog for a very long time. At least 7 years… in part, probably more. It’s an interesting thing pioneering – not only do we get to make up the rules as we go, we get to break them and remake them whenever we want, apparently.

I started hooping about 16 years ago, at least that’s my story. If the truth be told it would be a few more on top of that but like any great relationship once you’ve gone past the 10 year mark each moment into the beyond becomes a much respected yet variable blip in time. The point is it’s been a while and has been my full time / over time job for the past 7 years.

When I first encountered the hoop in Sydney it was in a super laid back setting by the beach with a rokn Circus babe who had trained in Moscow, knew her astrology, wore ink, smoked joints, trained hard and played even harder. She loved to hoop and she loved to dance but the two never met. Our Saturns were and are opposed. A wonderful teacher and a valued friend who like many i have bid farewell to spin my own path.

I found hoop dance in a nightclub in Melbourne when I was so green I could have been Goddess Ganji herself. I was 21, life was a party, I was invincible, so were my crew, we partied hard, we made lots of art, we danced always and we loved to hoop. Life was a hedonistic bubble which popped 1001 times or more. The tricks always bored me – too hard, too mental, too aggressive. I just wanted to dance, create and break as many rules as were presented. I ditched uni for life – how can you learn Indian history from some guy in a suit who draws lines and circles on a blackboard when all you want to do is go to India direct and draw lines and circles with life not to mention the body? The Mother Land was my first port of international call, hulahoop in hand!

So when I decided to take hooping “seriously” about 10 years later i did so in an environment that seemed kinda hostile, at the very least super exclusive, and one that had rules written very clearly on the black and white bored: you must be A Performer to be in The Club and if you are not don’t even think about it. I’ve always hated labels and capital letters and then there’s the whole rule situation so my plea was subcult illiteracy and I went for it anyway despite the fact that my teacher had already left town.

I found the family i was looking for not too long after, it was like magnetic destiny, and at first I found them online. Tribe.Net + Hoopers = online birthing ground of one of the most exciting movement communities on the planet. It wasn’t long before I took pilgrimage to Burning Man and at last as pixels turned into people I discovered my tribe who were all about sharing the hoop, their love of it, dancing and the joy of being in a community with a common passion as its focus. No one owned a thing, we all shared, except for perhaps some bad ass attitood of which there was plenty.

I remember inviting a whole bunch of circus stars to one of my first hoop jams in Sydney… it was pretty much empty. No one turned up, except my beloveds – the core crew who also held the vision. In circus world you don’t share, you train and you own and you don’t dare take someone else’s signature move… or else. God no wonder i never lasted. I’m the youngest of 8 – i had to share everything or got my ass kicked big time. Sharing is caring! I thought everyone knew that.

As a post-feminist Feminist (if i’m going to give myself a label that’s the one for the moment) I am not down with the hierarchical and out dated paradigms of the patriarchy. As a devotee of the 13 Moon Mayan Dreamspell I endorse the ethos that Time is Art and that we are done with dualistic and linear life patterns. As a human being, I would rather be a hologram and so, this is the reality I choose. It’s mutlidimensional. In this way I get to live without having to choose either/or ~ I get to have it all! And it’s colourful. That’s the deal. I finished my degree in Writing and History by the way… 10 years later when the rules became a little looser and the curriculum became way more interesting – Experimental Writing and the History of the Internet hello! Sometimes you gotta wait a good decade plus for life to ripen and drink.

So, given that we have reached this time in which the return of the Sacred Feminine can be seen and heard once again and we are all one sharing the same road home… I feel strongly that it’s time to cultivate matriarchal values in all walks of life once again. At the risk of using a duality to speak to duality with the point of speaking to a very specific situation that I am watching play out on the Australian hoop dance scene… as a leader and pioneer in this very young industry of hoop biz… and as a Lunar Dragon who is willing to own her part in birthing this community on this land along with the village of hoopers who are helping to raise this child… my message and suggestion is that we do it differently to times gone by – cooperation NOT competition! We do not need to compete with each other. There is room for everyone. We can support each other in contributing to the individual and collective work that we are here to achieve with the right amount of trust, honesty, open communication and respect. Choose your own adventure – there is your gold. A signature move is only as “good” as the one who scribes it… whose judging anyway? Ownership – it’s a whole other blog in itself. Cooperation is the highest form of consciousness and one that we will all benefit from in gravitating to. This is a passage that I share with all of the teachers I train:

You’ve probably noticed how hooping, and the teaching of it, has started to spread on the international circuit. While we live in a market economy we are too often confronted with competition as a potential threat to our business. I prefer to see humans and in particular, the hoopy kind, as a global community who can assist and inspire each other with the understanding that the more you give, the more you receive. What we are left with is the creation of complementary businesses and business practices with confidence, integrity and respect for our own individual natures as teachers and lovers of the hoop. Discover your own personal style and strengths and translate this into your classes. Learn the foundations then teach and develop what you love!

The growing up game… If there is one thing that Great Teacher Saturn has taught me it’s that rules do exist, whether you choose to break them or not is a personal decision and something that has many and varied consequences whichever way you go. For me growing up is about taking response-ability. It’s about owning all that you are and then releasing your gift out into the world. Respect those around you, allow them space to be seen and heard, support communal and individual growth, discover your own passion and watch it blossom, look to the mirrors around you to see that we live in a time of so much opportunity, choice and talent. It’s a colourful communal garden and nobody owns it. When we see resistance or conflict in communication, know this comes from wounds, a thorn in the side, both personally and culturally, and treat it with understanding and compassion… it’s the only way. Otherwise we enter yet another war… and the wheel turns.

Namaste

Listening to the Body by Bunny Star

As the sixth girl in a family of eight and a survivor of an all girls education, I grew up with a heightened sense of what it is to be “beautiful” – thin, tall, long mane, clear complexion and big breasts. We were informed by television, movies, magazines and the omnipresent advertorial gods. It was the ‘80s where the cult of the Supermodel turned beauty into a lucrative machine – Elle McPherson became “The Body”, Cindy Crawford represented the blondes, Kate Moss taught us how to take bad girl waif to an extreme and Madonna made it all just too cool. The radical Feministic revolution of the ‘70s was met with a conservative backlash that made the F word not only undesirable but somewhat dirty and replaced it with an obsession with shoulder pads and Fashion. Labels that identified one as a person seemed less important than those worn on the body with size small as the mandate since thin was definitively in. So at the tender age of 11 I took my first diet as a rite of passage into the harrowing realm of the teens. I prayed for no pimples, wondered how to elongate my legs, refused to cut my long knotted blonde hair, got those chest exercises going on and adopted shopping as a hobby.

            I really couldn’t recall the different diets that I tried over the next ten or so years as they were way too numerous, tedious and to be honest, completely nonsensical to warrant a mention. Although I will admit, the thought of combining ice-cream, crackers and hot dogs (not in the same bowl!) to create a chemical reaction does make me laugh and feel very concerned at the same time. Suffice it to say I learnt the all-consuming power of addiction to negative self-evaluation at a very early age, hating what I saw almost instinctively.

            As I trawl through my memory of this early period in life I try to find a time where there was a focus on feelings rather than appearance – I simply cannot find it. To this day I still fall into the trap of telling myself, “If I look good, I feel good” as I continue to feed this obsession with fashion and body image. But as I step outside of such a perception for just a moment and observe, I am drawn to question, what is ‘looking good’ about anyway? If beauty lies in the eye of the beholder how can I expect to influence other people’s opinion of my aesthetic, not least my own given my view has been so skewed with negativity. Beyond that, as sentient beings, how does the powerful notion of beauty translate as a two or even three-dimensional visual image when the reality of our being exists predominantly in feelings and thoughts. Shouldn’t this benchmark of admiration and personal value come from within?

Amidst this passage of self-assessment one day I noticed a difference in the way people responded to my person. It was in my early twenties when I made a conscious choice to take a calculated risk with life. Like a game of 52, I threw my cards in the air and watched with fascination where and how they did fall. I dropped out of university, experimented with drugs, became a lesbian, shaved off my hair, owned the title Feminist, pierced and tattoo’d my skin and entered the 90’s as a member of the Generation X alternate subculture. Granted I traded one stereotype for another but it felt good to live life in a way that I had grown up to believe was not ‘normal’. I wanted to be different if only to know what that felt like and to gain some understanding of how a concept like ‘normality’ served me in this world, or not. Most of all it gave me the attention I craved from a very young age.

Any sense of body image was taken care of by radical fashion statements, leaning towards less is more, accompanied by yet another ‘no food’ diet (drugs eliminate the need to eat) and an over-inflated feeling that we were taking on consensus reality in as many subversive ways as possible, making us a force to be reckoned with and irrefutably hot. We had attitude. We partied, we danced the nights away, we made art between and of ourselves, we gathered as a community to connect and we hooped. If we weren’t wearing loud coloured rave gear and sucking lollypops you may have mistaken us for punks. We were mixing it all up – bellbottom flairs or super tiny hot pants, big heavy platform boots (long legs!), kid’s sized T’s or slinky silver singlets to show off well sculpted abs, funky jackets with spiritual motifs, big sunglasses (day and night) and the hair that we did have was either bleached, coloured or wigged up to suit the look of the moment. It’s an interesting time, coming of age, how and why we interpret it for our selves and our peers. Some go with the flow, others thrash against the current. I chose the latter – it wasn’t always easy, but it was fun… if I ignore all the angst and repercussions of taking extremism way too far.

It’s funny looking back at this time, 15 years on, remembering just how cool we thought we were and realising now how uncool it was to trash our bodies and minds with pollution of a different kind – the good girl’s evil twin, rebellion. As I have grown into my adulthood I have come to understand and appreciate the value and beauty of balance, moderation and equanimity in not only an individual context but as a reflection of, and injection into, the collective health and well being of humanity. I’ve also learnt that words like normal and abnormal, good and bad, obedient and rebellious serve no greater purpose that splitting us into a conceptual world of duality when the goal is surely unified and holistic living.

Before I take this story further into the future or current time I must rewind and hover over one very significant element that anchored and chaperoned me through the tide of wild times – the hulahoop. This was the first of several turning points that would change my life and my body’s journey into a highly attuned sentient being in its own right. It was 1993 and I was at a nightclub ensconced in the dance floor when a circus performer appeared spinning hoops. The awe that struck me was quite indescribable. The skill with which she whipped those silver rings around her body was breathtaking. I fell in love! For Christmas that year my friend gifted me a hoop – the addiction was instant. For a very long time the hoop really only did time on my waist, with the tricks of the trade yet to reach my world, but the joy of exploring how much you can do or, more specifically, how much you can move, with a hoop on the waist was phenomenal. It just felt right and my body and dancing took on a whole new journey.

When I moved to Sydney two years later a friend and hoop buddy told me of a woman called Hula who he had met out dancing at a club – she was interested in sharing her craft. Inevitably I met this goddess of the hoop who over time taught me all that I know about circus hooping. We met at Bondi Beach where we exchanged astrological information then she drilled me in learning hoop tricks. Still I can remember the intense difficulty, the frustration, the feeling of defeat, the tantrums and the thrill of all that it involved. I desperately wanted to spin fire from the very beginning but Hula assured me I might want to master a few of the essentials first… I trusted her instinct.

At the time, it was not something I took seriously and my interest in developing skills and routines was limited and sporadic. It was more about fun and hanging out on the dance floor with my hoop grooving around in a corner floating in that bubble that is the hoop. It’s an odd scenario because as you can imagine, hooping on a dance floor attracts a lot of attention but strangely I felt almost invisible – wrapped in a force field and completely untouchable. Few people believe me when I tell them that beneath it all I’m actually very shy. I guess I’m what you might call an introverted extrovert. This life has been a journey of coming out of a primal shell to own a positive sense of self as well as creative and spiritual power. Playing the role of rebel followed by disco dancing HoopStar has certainly helped facilitate this self-directed transformative process.

The second turning point came in 2004. I had shared my passion for the hoop with a number of friends and the rapport was instant and effortless. Sydney’s underground performance scene was in full force and we became inspired to do something more with the hoop so we trained, rehearsed and started to document in preparation for a well overdue show.  I was working a 9-5 office job at the time – an experiment in the mainstream which clearly proved I was not of this ilk but gave me the stability to finish my Arts degree, an insight into how to organise an office and a whole lot of tolerance, endurance and focus in simply getting done what needs to be done to actualise one’s life dreams. It also offered an introduction to a number of inspiring people, one of whom joined the first generation of Hoopaholica and another who opened the gateway for us to perform – the Director of the 2005 Surry Hills Festival. The Barbarella’s were born and soon morphed into The Hoopaholics – a troupe of whirling Intergalactic Space Babes.

I began to notice a lot of change within and around me. My body craved fitness and needed to be supple to support the arduous nature of circus hooping where more is more making full body multiple hoop splits de rigeur and the ultimate goal. Yoga became not only a hobby but also a necessity if I were to fulfill my vision of becoming a hoopstar. When you put the two disciplines of hooping and yoga together you pretty much have a marriage made in heaven. The body just says YES! The words core strength, rhythmic activation, balance, centred alignment and full power all come to mind. Yoga also mirrors the benefit of hooping’s ability to develop body consciousness as you turn off the mind and switch on the body. With my love of dancing added to the equation I had found my golden triangle.

Another element of life that didn’t change so much as it amplified was my diet. Thankfully, by this stage my use of the word diet refers to the presence of food rather than its absence. As a devotee of compassionate, or vegetarian, eating since moving out of home and into a space of developing my own modes of sustainable living, an awareness of how food, energy and consciousness relate to each other became highly significant. The focus was not only on preserving the rights of animals to live a life free from suffering but also on how we as humans can avoid discomfort in our own bodies by considering what we put in it. I simply started to listen to my body. It didn’t want animal flesh. It rarely craved dairy. It wanted fresh fruit and vegetables and mostly preferred raw or lightly steamed food. It responded with a feeling of lightness, high levels of energy and a natural physical slenderness that resonated with my sense of wellbeing. How can one ignore a biological system that speaks so clearly? I realised that the more we tune into our bodies, be it physical, mental, emotional, energetic or spiritual, the more information we are privy to which lives inside us like a library just waiting to be opened.

In 2006 I took a trip to the United States to explore the alternate art, music and cultural festival that is Burning Man. Held in the desert of Nevada this “experiment in temporary community” is also a mecca for the American hoopdance scene. What an incredible experience that was! Never have I experienced such an eclectic array of super creative people carving their individual and collective visions onto a blank canvas desert-scape at a scale that could only be described as massive and with an attitude of vibrant and positive energy. Apart from having connected with the rising international hoopdance community online, this was my first experience of hoop jamming. A hoop jam is a dance floor full of hoopers busting moves. Hello heaven I had found home! No more hiding in the corner for this lady, I had hit the land of extroverted spinners and did they know how to spin. It wasn’t posed like the circus or the catwalk (although the attitude was definitely out and proud), for the most part all that was required was a single hoop and the intensity of the energy required to move with such precision and intuitive flow anchored me on my path with a big red circle that indicated a third turning point in my journey with the hoop. I was sold on hoopdance. My interest in the more is more approach dissolved as I took on the simplicity of a single hoop and discovered a whole new realm of hooping that allowed my body to move freely and in a way that was conducive to its own sense of feeling and rhythm. On the fashion front (having earned my own self-proclaimed title of globe trotting fashionista by this stage) I have to say, when clothes were worn, and minimal they were, Californian desert fashion wins the prize with hoop wear coming in a very close second.

Burning Man and my continued interaction with the Californian-centred hoopdance community has taken me to spaces I could only dream of, including the experience of spinning with fire which propels hooping into a completely different league – purely elemental, thrilling beyond description and as a hooper, an experience not to be missed. It is with extreme gratitude that I thank each and every hoopy who has crossed my path and has participated in co-creating a cosmic family in which we all understand what it is to get your hoop on and own it. It’s about coming into your body, letting go of the mind, accepting who you are, loving who you are as well as who you are constantly becoming and being open to challenging your sense of self on a mission of physical, spiritual, emotional, energetic and creative expression that can be found in the hoop and the ultra fun community that forms around it. The hoop is a powerful tool. It is often sold as a fitness tool or a toy and there is no doubt that it well and truly fits both moulds. But it goes way beyond the physical. It is an opportunity to transform the way you feel which for me is the essence of beauty – feeling good. Correction – feeling amazing!

Having always been a highly active dreamer, I am a strong believer in listening to the subconscious mind, allowing the ‘higher’ self to guide and to listen to feelings rather than being dominated by thoughts. I believe we can take this further by tuning in and listening to what the body has to say to us. It’s fascinating to notice how the body and mind can direct the self with varied states of health and dis-ease. As a performer and teacher, this awareness has only become stronger and guides me in all that I do. As I move further into and through my work, I am continually inspired to keep eliminating what is not conducive to my holistic health and to increase what is. A big part of that is being present in the current moment – embracing the now as life’s essence. To not judge, criticise or compare but to simply be and enjoy what is. I find this space of inner peace when practicing yoga, meditation, dance and hooping. All of these disciplines are portals of self-discovery and growth in which to explore and play.

I still occasionally struggle with the ghosts that tell me I’m too fat, or too thin in those times when my extremism flips the other way, or that I’m not tall enough or my hair needs more shine (mental note – stop bleaching hair, the ‘90s are over!). I know those voices belong to an old way of living that has lost its relevance in a time where my heart and soul sings with a love directed first and foremost in toward my self and then out to all those I encounter. I still love fashion as a form of art and creative self-expression and probably always will even if it is ashramic style cottons or the bling or ink that inevitably adorns my naked body. What I am interested in is the process of understanding and re-habiting this internal dialogue into a constructive and positive conversation about how and what I feel. I know that sometimes I eat too many chocolate croissants firstly because they are delicious, secondly to reactivate my rebel and eliminate my strict inner dietician if only for a moment and thirdly to feel fat because this belief that I grew up with feels comfortable in its familiarity. I know that like everything growth takes time, awareness, focus and discipline. Most of all I know my physical body has a voice that aligns with my emotional, mental, spiritual and energetic spheres. It’s time to listen and respond with intelligence, understanding, forgiveness and compassion. When my bodies are all aligned I am in my highest state of connection not only with my self and with others but also with the galaxy that we live in and the universe beyond that informs our highest state of being through Source consciousness. At this point I become a speck of light, no less no more, whose radiance depends on all others living in synergy. Imagine hearing the sound of light as a beautiful symphony that makes our whole being sing in a state of true bliss – the reality is this is possible. Turn off your mind, turn on your body and listen.

April 25, 2010

Published in Amongst Sisters by Amanda Foxon-Hill, Deep Hill Media, 2011
www.amongstsisters.com

Clouds of Impermanence

I recently became tuned into the Cloud Appreciation Society and it’s Manifesto. It spoke to me on so many levels that i really had to sit with the philosophy for quite some time to let it drift through my consciousness until it shifted into a shape that i could recognise. And then i had some swirls etched into my skin.

 WE BELIEVE that clouds are unjustly maligned and that life would be immeasurably poorer without them.

We think that they are Nature’s poetry,
and the most egalitarian of her displays, since
everyone can have a fantastic view of them.

We pledge to fight ‘blue-sky thinking’ wherever we find it.
Life would be dull if we had to look up at cloudless monotony day after day.

We seek to remind people that clouds are expressions of the atmosphere’s moods, and can be read like those of a person’s countenance.

Clouds are so commonplace that their beauty is often overlooked. They are for dreamers and their contemplation benefits the soul. Indeed, all who consider the shapes they see in them will save on psychoanalysis bills.

And so we say to all who’ll listen: Look up, marvel at the ephemeral beauty, and live life with your head in the clouds!

As a kid i spent a lot of time gazing at clouds with my Nan. She had a pretty good eye for the many creatures that would appear and disappear then reappear as something completely different. Over time they continued to fascinate particularly when flying above looking down at what could only possibly be a vision of Shambhala.

So as i sat in the studio being tattood over several hours and weeks had gone by i asked the maestro, “what’s with all the cloud iconography in Buddhist art?” It seems only right to know what you are representing with and on your person. She said, “impermanence.” Sweet irony and life of mystery i love you when you turn and twist stories and images into symbols of awe. From dust to dust with a little sparkle and shine the stars twinkle as suns just like us. In this life i now permanently wear a cloak of impermanence… or at the very least a sleeve.

 

Tattoos are a trip! I have to admit that in my experience the visual element only scratches the surface of a ritual and a journey that runs deep into the core of what it is to be human. Most common question asked: “doesn’t it hurt?” To which i reply, “no more than life.” I’ve never given birth to a child and i can’t remember being born but i imagine both to be excruciating moments in the moment followed by a mixed bag of joy, sadness and hopefully a little equanimity along the way. In a way there is an element of rebirth in body art that changes the physical permanently. I believe we choose everything that we experience whether we are conscious of it or not. So when we choose to change the bodies we chose to be born with it’s kind of like renovating a house. A little paint here, a top story there, clean up the foundations, knock out a wall… which is possibly the only reason i would ever buy a house… to knock out that wall… and to hang my art wherever i like.

When i started writing this post, a while ago now, i was on the lookout for a sledgehammer to annihilate a big fat hinderance to its completion – the notorious writer’s block that every writer experiences at least a bazillion times in their life. How to flow when all else is shifting constantly and changing and swirling and driving you a little nuts because it’s ALL ON. I would say that’s an accurate description of my chosen path for 2011 – intensely full ON and populated with so many stars that my sight almost became blinded except for the saving grace of some apparently well stored karmic credits that catapulted me to the other side of the galaxy… not to mention a handful of incredibly supportive friends and my loyal cat husband. What we take on when we choose to explode like supernovas. The clouds helped too – they kept me off the beach and in the ever expanding hoop lab with an occasional wistful gaze for gazing’s sake.

Actually 2011 has been an incredible year. I’ve learnt more about life and my self and others in the past 12 months than possibly my entire incarnation as Bunny Star. We can thank Saturn for that with his staunch hard hitting lessons that pop bubbles and turn clouds stormy particularly when Pluto’s hanging around. That’s OK. As a Moon Pluto i need it to feel my way through intensely. The reward comes in the form of Neptunian veils that lift and float and fly like gossamer wings in the wind leaving visions that astound and perplex and at times even entertain, some might even call it reality. It’s the illusion that i’m interested in – the stories that we create for ourselves and project onto our selves and others. Like clouds they change in shape and size and intensity.

So on this day 24 December of Red Magnetic Serpent (if only i had have acknowledged that piece of information 24 hours ago!) we are diving into a very intense cycle for the next 13 days. Watch Vasumi’s space for the download on that one! On XMas day we will experience White Lunar WorldBridger ~ my very own natal kin. Surrendering to the life force that is, in the name of right alignment and a necessary grounding into raw primal essence (Sex and the Tsunami), these words by Thich Nat Hanh remind me to honour the Sun, that also blasts across my shoulder, and the stability of the sky which is the potential quality of our vision.  The stories of reality/s are being written all around us. It’s up to each and every one of us to pick up the pen and make use of our own ink. As ever, choose your own adventure! I know i’ve always been a fan. Namaste!

Going with the Flow

Image by Nick Coppins

The guy who lives in the mansion next door is trying to prove a point about the inequality of resources in this world by building another mansion right next to the one he already owns… apparently he needs more. As this building project is right next to my bedroom window it is my alarm clock. Interesting theme. What’s with jackhammers at 7am on a Monday morning dudes?!* At least I have the privilege of waking up. They will predictably die down at 9am. So as I wake today on Kin 2 White Lunar Wind guided by the Wizard in the wavespell of the Dragon with a Pisces full moon to boot having dreamt of a dear dead friend and Xena the Warrior Queen I can’t help but think about FLOW! Isn’t that the key to dealing with the rigidity of perception in life?

First stop Google! What is flow? Wikipedia says:

Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. Proposed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the positive psychology concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields.^[1]

According to Csíkszentmihályi, flow is completely focused motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. In flow, the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand. To be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task^[2] although flow is also described (below) as a deep focus on nothing but the activity – not even oneself or one’s emotions.

Colloquial terms for this or similar mental states include: to be on the ball, in the moment, present, in the zone, wired in, in the groove, or keeping your head in the game.

Components of flow

Csíkszentmihályi identifies the following ten factors as accompanying an experience of flow ^[3][4]

1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one’s skill set and abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should both be high.^[5]
2. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).
3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.
4. Distorted sense of time, one’s subjective experience of time is altered.
5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed).
6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor too difficult).
7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.
8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action.
9. A lack of awareness of bodily needs (to the extent that one can reach a point of great hunger or fatigue without realizing it)
10. Absorption into the activity, narrowing of the focus of awareness down to the activity itself, action awareness merging.

Not all are needed for flow to be experienced. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

We use the term flow a lot in hoop dance. For spinners who want to hit the zone or find their groove, it’s all about flow. But how do we access this space in dance and life? Well, I suggest just keep on moving. When we move into the dance we pretty much have to start deleting thoughts (at the very least back burn them) as we invite a connection with our body’s consciousness which feels like a different kind of intelligence to that of the mind. Body consciousness is given a pretty bad rap in a book I am reading right now called Raja Yoga – New Beginnings by Ken O’Donnell. He is referring to the lusty mind driven desires of the body and the need for ongoing sensation rather than simply being in direct connection with divine Source energy. I am really enjoying this book and there is a lot of wisdom to be gained from it but I feel an opportunity was missed in discussing positive body consciousness and the way we can use it as a tool and a portal for tapping into that sweet source energy that a lot of struggle to find by sitting still in meditation. Body consciousness is important to develop. We are spiritual beings having a human experience in a physical body where it would be really cool to live fully rather than perpetually dominated by the busy mind. If we learn to use this vehicle of choice consciously and creatively we can switch on our own personal transmitters of universal intelligence and be connected as we regenerate our cells and pump pure joy through our entire system of being. Then maybe we will be inspired to sit still and chill out

Some inspiration on FLOW - Beth Lavinder rocks it in her barn in South Carolina post Burning Man. And speaking of Burning Man, really cool flow mo with Mari…

I wonder what the Mayan Monkey Queen has to say about today’s Galactic Weather. Tune into her space for daily transmissions AND enjoy the flow!

Reinvention is a Beautiful Thing

Time is… love is… and the wheel turns. It’s almost been a full year since I last blogged. To trace the journey in any detail would be challenging to say the least so instead, inspired by the transformation that is (and Google’s insistence that i remember all my passwords to streamline everything into one) I decided it’s time to start over again and simply anchor into the NOW. Fresh page. It is after all Kin 1 Day of the Red Magnetic Dragon (Mayan Dreamspell) and so the first day of a new 260 day count. New cycle, new time, new spin, new game! Memories can be found @ Hoopaholica and Beyond back at sorry Blogspot you made it all too confusing I’m now pressing the words here. Nothing like a good walk out to refresh.

Following the patterns and wisdoms of the Dreamspell has been a profound experience and has added a richness to the cosmological hologram in a way that has enhanced my understanding of life, the self, the other and consciousness itself. Not to mention tuning into the Asteroid Goddess mythologies which seem to amp up the astrological wheel in no small way. It seems the opportunities to deepen and expand our awareness at this amazingly dynamic time just keep on increasing and fast. We live in the information age with the tools and resources to tap in to whatever it is we wish to know at a hit of a button, but to what end? As the interwebs keep on developing and we experience what it is to connect with each other through time and space, leaving distance as a minor detail, the big question, on my plate in any case, is how does this constant out reach reflect our own internal experience of wholeness and where do we draw the line between hooking into each other’s lives and journeying into our centre where we need no thing and no one. Not to detract from the amazing experience of connecting with others! As a World Bridging Libran Rat i’m all for it BUT there comes a point where the only other that can really fulfill us is that part of our s/elves that calls to be seen, heard, acknowledged and respected – the divine within. Meditation party anyone?

Tom has some really profound insights on the planetary alignment right now and how it translates in the way we relate to each other.

As I experience the full activation of my astrological blueprint over an extended period of time that allows me ample opportunity to soak up life’s vibrant and at times very challenging lessons I journey the Zuvuya spiraling inwards and outwards and ultimately find myself in the hoop… over and over again. And on the mat. AND on the dance floor. It’s a golden triangle: hooping, yoga and dance. I need all three to balance the magic that is this life. Within all three practices is a space of calmness, bliss, excitement, fun and the knowing that this is what life is really about – feeling good.

It is no coincidence that in this past week three different people have spoken to me about how surprised they were to discover the meditative qualities of hooping. Beyond that, they also spoke of how transformative it has been for their emotions and energy. We all know how it goes – when you are having a bad hair day sometimes just nothing will ease the pain. Enter le hoop. With an ongoing daily practice of teaching and performing hoop dance as my full time over time job, I have been given a gift to offer myself and others an experience of immense joy, regeneration and gratitude that life can be this fun and playful. A student asked me in class last week, “does your boyfriend hoop?” A complicated question (see astro map below) but just imagining that my fully activated Libralicious life was that simple, in short, I answered – “I don’t date guys who don’t hoop.” It really is that simple. I barely see people outside of my hoop community. Snooty? Perhaps. More a practical issue of time really. I am on a mission and know what I want in life – to be happy and to feel good and to be creative and to move my body and energy constantly. Any detraction or distraction from these guiding life principles seems to get annihilated quite naturally (thanks Pluto!) and quickly (go Uranus) so I surrender – I was born to hoop and at this point in life am completely dedicated to spreading the joy as far and wide as possible.

So as the cosmic weather continues to roll the high seas of life I ride and watch and occasionally get wiped out and float back to the surface for a big delicious gulp of fresh air then go back for more deep sea diving and dreaming and spinning and swirling in what can only be described as a very colourful life. It’s intense! Would I have it any other way? Some days… every time i hang my washing out (about once a week) i fantasise that I’m a housewife. The deep dark fantasies of a hoopstar! And then i laugh at the unlikelihood of such dharma and bounce off to the next adventure. Fempowerment? Could be. I am open. To it all. But I will say… it feels good to be back on the page of venturing in through journaling and channeling it out there to those who wish to connect. Also, the new me has a few new guidelines and dare i say RULES in life and love (thanks Saturn) … keep watching this space for more colour and intergalactic transmissions. LOVE! XO

Spider Dreaming

And the wheel turns… life goes on… we are all here to heal… and live… the love… that is this life. Greetings from Bali. I’ve been here for almost two weeks now, with another two to go. Somehow the prospect of leaving feels unfathomable as the power of the now is just so incredibly captivating and strong. The mountainous areas of Bali are a magnetic home for this galactivating spinner of the light as sourced from the dark that is the void and beyond. The 13th year of the 13 year cycle is about to come to a close as I approach my 38th cycle around the sun. Ah Yum, Hunab Ku, Evam Maya E Ma Ho! I came here to create and heal my heart only to discover that the wilderness of the imagination is the only place where the heart truly heals purely by higher navigation. It’s an intense journey this one, bridging worlds with serpentine intent and the power of the mirror as a tool for alignment. Where to go from here? I have come to a full stop.

Rewind two nights back lying in a dream circle re-entering the previous night’s visions to inquire what else can I discover from the subconscious story? I am in a temple on a clifftop yet again. The walls are red, the light is warm and ambient, Kit is there spinning hoops all over, red ones especially and I am keen to capture her amazing beauty on video so run off to find my camera only become distracted and when i return the light has fallen and she needs to rush off for lunch but somehow i hold her and shoot the video as intended. Nick is there and we are all very happy. It’s a blissful dream. As I re-enter I pick up a hoop and throw one to Nick – we all begin to spin and play and laugh having a great time. Then I am cleansed by water running over and through my body all my cells and organs are purified I am ready to lie down where i can feel the coldness of the ground and just relax. As i lie there straining to see further all of the muscles in my body and face surrender to the nothingness that they desire as I drop into the void it is black no more vision no more inquiry no more desire simply nothing. I fall further into the dream and become a snake lying on the ground. I am grounded and it feels good to move as one muscle slowly against the cold ground. I stand up and move within the temple walls to receive a visit from a guide who entered my dreams long ago, he has walked paths with me and given me gifts, a gentle old man who i adore. I am reminded of the serpents and spiders as my dream totems and press forward with the journey as i want to see more. He shows me the dream as The Dream itself as in this vision is precious and not something to inhibit with poor sleeping and waking life practices. I must remain clean to maintain the clarity of the vision which amplifies the creation that is.

Fast forward to that night waking up in bed in extreme pain in my right ankle. I have no idea why, wondering if I had accidentally fallen into a ditch which is easy enough to do where I am although not something that one would forget so easily. I realise this is impossible and try to fall back to sleep, I will deal with it in the morning. I wake up and the pain intensifies as I realise I have been bitten by a spider which has injected poison into me making my ankle swollen and sore. Grandmother Spider, what is it that you wish for me to know from this? Right ankle points to the magnetic tone or spiritual intent. I am initiated into the Unknown through the Moon. I am warned to reconsider my allies. I have been warned similarly before under different circumstances. As I draw toward the magnetic tone I wonder if this requires my relinquishing of Spider as my ally – she is tricky to be sure but powerful and all creative. Perhaps I just need to be paying closer attention to who and what I let in. Thankfully the poison quickly left my body leaving wisdom as its only trace.

As I journey further I slow down the pace and become more like the snake as i tune into the vibration of the land i am on. As the web spans outward my gaze falls inward to the only place that i truly know that which is my soul inhabiting this human experience. I am feeling out the territory, allowing time and space to sit and listen and watch. I am sensing my own inner territory in a completely new way. It wants space and air and liquid goodness. I give so much thanks to my beautiful soul family who visit me in my dreams both sleeping and waking reminding me that no matter how far we travel we are all still connected within this breathtaking web of creation. I bow before Grandmother Spider to show me the way and set my intention before I dream.